Wandering from the Shepherd

Years ago when I ventured this Walk With Jesus,

I did not foresee that I would become distracted.

I was on the path of following and learning from His footsteps.

My last post mentioned serving and the opportunities that

would unfold through a position I had accepted as a 4th grad teacher.

I allowed the great simplicities of life

to become trampled in the complexities of new programs,

advanced technology, challenged children,

my fears and self - defeating thoughts.

Soon, early mornings meant biking and updating a website

rather than reading my Walk With Jesus and the scriptures that accompanied

the topic for the week.

Then fatigue set in.

Too tired to talk ... period.

Prayers went by the wayside.

No matter how much time and energy,

how late I stayed at school,

I could never catch up.

Time with my husband and son became next to nothing.

There was always tomorrow and surely they would  understand.

Another year...

great students

but new challenges.

Deep down I knew that my Savior had never left my side.

I knew He was just waiting for me to ask for His help.

Paperwork started to stack up.

Laundry piled higher than the work that needed to be corrected.

I made the choice to stay home from church.

I could not believe how much I accomplished in those couple of hours.

Doing it once and realizing my productivity,

made it easier for me to do it again...and again.

Occasionally, I would gear up just enough energy to go to church,

but never just to nourish and nurture my spirit.

Some people are opposed to working on Sunday

and there I was bringing my work to church on Sunday.

I wanted to quit everything

and just plain start over...with the basics.

My Visit Teaching Companion deserved someone that would not

bring frustration to what was supposed to be relief

The Relief Society needed someone that they could count on.

That was not me.

I got behind on tithing.

My temple recommend expired.

The house was a mess.

Where was my refuge?

I paused for a moment of reflection.

I saw this quote

and it spoke volumes...

I was not taking the time to KNOW JESUS,

hence, I was not feeling even a drop of HIS peace.

I need JESUS.

He KNOWS me better than anyone else.

He KNOWS exactly what I need.

He understands unequivocally

the exact remedy to heal me...

the answers to the questions I have not even asked.

School is out for the summer.

I know, I do not want to be lost.

I still long for that awaited day...

His RETURN

I went to church by myself.

No papers to correct...no distractions.

The lesson in Relief Society

dealt with finding the lost...

4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

 5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

 6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.